Resilence by Alex Elle

look at you.
still standing
after being
knocked down
and thrown out.

look at you.
still growing
after being
picked and plucked
and prodded out of
your home.

look at you.
still dancing
and singing
after being
defeated and disassembled.

look at you, love.
still here and hopeful
after it all.

The Oxford English Dictionary defines resilience as the ability to bounce back rapidly from adversity. In psychology, resilience is described as the ability to handle adversity, trauma, dangers or severe causes of stress—such as family and interpersonal problems, serious health issues, or employment and financial stressors—and to thrive. The ability to bounce back from adverse events can be accompanied by significant personal progress, and this is what resilience is all about.

However, while these unfavorable circumstances, similar to harsh river waters, are undoubtedly painful and tough, they do not have to define the course of your life. There are many parts of your life that you have the ability to influence, adjust, and develop. That is the function of resiliency. The ability to become more resilient not only allows you to get through difficult circumstances but also gives you the ability to grow and even better your life as you go along.

Despite the fact that resilience is a good thing, you must pause and examine, as well as feel your feelings, even if it means bawling your eyes out. As a result, being resilient does not imply that someone is emotionless. Being resilient does not imply that one must keep back tears and repress all emotions in order to be tough or adjust to adversity. Being resilient does not imply that I will become a walking robot or a punching bag saying, ‘come punch me, I am strong enough to face whatever difficulty you throw at me.’ Being resilient does not imply an absence of fear. Being resilient does not imply that I am always strong – possibly impervious to burnouts or breakdowns.

Being resilient implies that despite my fear, I will attempt, cross my fingers, and continue walking in the aftermath of a loud scream in the bathroom.

Personally, being resilient entails shouting as loudly as possible during a horrific experience, adversity, or struggle while clinging to the belief that I will survive–  whether by crawling, staggering, or leaping. Feeling all of my emotions, whether they’re tears or quiet time alone in order to keep going forward, is what it means to be a resilient person. I need to experience all of my emotions; otherwise, if I revert to suppression, I risk becoming a ticking cyclone ready to erupt when triggered. Being resilient implies that despite my fear, I will attempt, cross my fingers, and continue walking in the aftermath of a loud scream in the bathroom.

When it comes to mental health conditions such as depression and anxiety, resilience can be a valuable asset. Additionally, resilience can help mitigate risk factors for mental health disorders, such as prior trauma. If you already have a mental health condition, resilience can help you cope better.

Resilience can always be improved or built upon. Giving meaning to your everyday life means doing something that gives you a sense of accomplishment and purpose on a daily basis. Identifying goals will assist you in looking toward the future with a greater sense of meaning. That is not to say you should dwell on the future, as this will almost certainly cause anxiety. Consider how you’ve dealt with adversity in the past. Reflect on how you were able to get by in times of stress and adversity. Even writing about your past experiences in a journal can help you identify adaptive and maladaptive behavioral patterns and guide your future behavior. Despite this, there’s always room for fresh approaches or even insights gained from others’ experiences.

Your problems are not to be ignored. Determine what needs fixing, devise a strategy, and put the strategy into action. While it may take time to recover from a significant setback, traumatic event, or loss, keep in mind that your situation can improve with effort. Additionally, keep in mind to be hopeful or to have faith, and most importantly, to look after yourself–attend to your own needs and feelings. Engage in activities and interests that you find pleasurable. Incorporate regular exercise into your daily routine. Sleep well. Keep your diet as balanced as possible. Relieve your stress by using techniques such as yoga, meditation, deep breathing, or prayer. Whatever works for you, take a pick and hold on to that.